Saturday, 18 April 2015

Change can be ok

This week all sorts of stuff has been thrown at me.
The most interesting being the loss of the fabulous course I've run for the past three years. I'd hoped to stay employed until July at least so I'd have money to get through until September, but other than the possibility of cover teaching work it just isn't to be. Lots of politics and shenanigins so tight lipped and affecting a devil may care attitude that I'm sure you all know to be nonsense.
Our home has also gone on the market, so now we have strangers visiting deciding if it's good enough for them or not.
With all of this going on my daughters, friends and mum are blinking stars. Keeping me sane, happy and laughing.
Do you know, I really didn't realise what fabulous people I knew. Each and everyone of them has shown themselves to be the best kind of friend someone could ask for when distractions and company are badly needed.
In the midst of this I contacted my mate in Oz who was the closest thing to family I'd ever known. We didn't speak for over a year after a thing that happened. Then you wake up and realise it's just not worth losing some people. Right now it turns out she needs a bloody good mate too. I even wonder if might use some of our house sale money to go on a long plane trip.

There are people I've met through blogging and now through Instagram who have become real mates, others who I can't wait to meet up with and know I will one day soon.
For a girl who was a real outsider and a quiet loner once she seems to have grown into a woman who has found where she fits and who actually enjoys all this sociable stuff a whole lot.
I'm also wondering if I should finally send that letter to the lady who gave birth to me. I've a few brothers and sisters I'd love to get to know, plus all that wider family I've never bad.
Next week I'm joining the W.I. I'm thrilled you know as I've fancied this for a bit, but couldn't find the one for me.
Through vintage markets I've met quite a few of my mates. Everyone knows everyone else. For a couple of years I've known my W.I. mate, but just recently we've started to get to know each other better. I like her a lot.
To be honest, my marriage ending has meant I've got to know a lot of people better. Not because I wasn't allowed to, but it's a time thing isn't it. I gave my time to my family life. Now I share it out more and that's a really positive thing to come from all of this.
I'm a firm believer in trying to find the good, the positive, the upbeat and what I might learn from something.
At a low moment this week I gathered a small bit of my fabric stash together and took a few happy photos. My own therapy which worked.
Now I have a few irons in the fire still. Two friends have given me heads up on possible jobs so I'm meeting up with them next week. I'm taking some bits to sell from a shop in Southwold. Then, excitingly three ladies and I will be getting together to put together the Do You Mind if I Knit Blanket?
All the squares are in so it's time to get stitching ready for the raffle to raise funds for MIND in memory of Vanessa.
Fabric, friends and family are what make my life tick. My head has a few ideas for our future, one a blinking big idea that requires a leap of faith and courage.
I keep telling myself over and over, you have far more courage than you have fear.
For now I'm thinking, researching and keeping as sane as a woman can do who is watching her world dissolve before her eyes.
I intend to find the best I can from all of this and use it.
That's where all these wonderful people I know and that's you included come in.
You say the most incredibly supportive things that really hold me up through this time. Even though I'm getting worse at replying through blogger, I need you to know that your comments are so very appreciated, make me feel comforted and wish that I could say to you right there and then thankyou and for you to know I really do mean it.
I'd started off intending to waffle on about fabric and hide my thoughts, sometimes the writing just takes over. I've let it for today.

36 comments:

  1. what a positive attitude you have.Good on you.I do admire the way you are handling all thisI am sure everything will work out for the best and your girls have a very special mum.Barbarax

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  2. Good luck - it sounds as if you are doing brilliantly no matter what life throws at you. x

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  3. Oh yes I know only too well about the politics and shenanigans involved in teaching - I've just found out my job which I've loved for the last seven years and has been a privately funded addition to the school won't be continuing in September. I've discovered so many underhand things that have gone on that too be honest I don't think I would want to continue there even if they turned around and said I could. Yes I am a little bitter but that's the stage I'm going through at the moment - someone said it was a bit like grieving and you go through many different stages before coming out the other side. Bitter's where I'm at! However realising that I was going to have to find something else has become quite an exciting prospect - and I feel that you are at that stage. Good for you for reaching out to those around, it sounds like you have turned your changes in circumstances into a liberating force! And yes - why not write the letter - you never know what might come of it. As for joining the W.I - fab! Hope this finds you in a calm and positive place x Jane

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  4. You are wonderful and it will all work out in the end. These things always do! Girl power ;), Bee xx

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  5. You go girl....you know you can fly if you really want to!
    love ya!
    bestest Ash x

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  6. You are truly an inspiration.
    You are a brave lion heart!
    Please let us know about the WI I bet it will be fab x

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  7. You never know just how strong you are until you call upon unknown strength. You are one amazing lady, and I so wish you love and good luck for whatever the future holds. If you get the chance, go for the trip to Australia, it is the most amazing place to recharge the batteries!!! X

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  8. Wow, you really are going through a period of change with a lot of decisions to make. Joining the WI seems a very positive choice for you. I am sure you will deal with each decision as it comes along. You obviously have a lovely group of people around you who love you and who you love, and that's what counts in the end, for a life well lived. Be kind to yourself! Xxxx

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  9. Keep your head high....there are new things just around the corner. And the WI sounds wonderful. Stay positive for you and your girls.

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  10. Well done you, as my mum would say. Great to have found you - I count you as a friend so shout if uou need anything. I'll all come right in the end. *Shine shine shine* as I now say (too much RHOM going on)! X

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  11. Go on you! Life never stays still and is full of so many possibilities. Keep going. xx

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  12. One day you will look back and see this as the defining time it is. Uggghhhh to be forced into change by such events, bites the big one! But as I can attest when you get through it ( and you will) you will forever changed..in a good way. Your growth as a person is already starting and I commend you in your ability to see the path ahead I stayed of trying to go back. Bit like a rebirth really as I once said to a friend.....there was a lot of yelling and tears then too! But when you held that new life and your life changed forever, would you go back? Xxxxxx

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  13. It's so inspiring to hear you be so positive, I doubt very much I would be. Good luck with the house sale and work situation too.

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  14. Wow! what a an amazing person you are. Sorry to hear about your job, but there is probably something better round the next corner. Life is challenging, but you have beaten each challenge as it comes along. You've had the extra challenge because it has come all at once, but you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.
    Julie xxxxxxxx

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  15. Hey Lisa

    Just wanted you to know that I am rooting for you and sending lots of positivity your way. Life has really been throwing you some curve balls. But you are catching them and dealing with them admirably.

    P x

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  16. Wow Lisa what an amazing post! Every thing always happens for a reason, its just that sometimes we can't see it at the time. Am sending good wishes from the south coast, you have such an amazing spirit it will all work out. I think many of us feel the same about the supportive way blogging works. It can be a joy. xxx

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  17. So sorry you have lost your job but am sure it's for a reason and something better is just around the corner.
    Jacqui xx

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  18. I wonder if the big leap of faith is going to be.... opening a little business/shop of your own, or perhaps with a good friend, selling those lovely things you love to fill your house with, your sewing....
    I'm the opposite to you...once a real social person, sociable, wide circle of friends, going out once or twice a week with a good female friend, lots of male friends (very understanding and not in the least possessive/jealous husband, thank you) I am now in my mid-sixties, have no social life, my closest friends have all died, but you know what? I am happy as I ever was, content with who I am now, but it's taken a while to get to this accepting stage. I lead a sedentary life - through no fault of my own, but rather health issues - and as I am not a joiner-in, have no chance of meeting another like-minded soul. Unless something serendipitous happens, as it has before in my life, many times. Fingers crossed. And lots and lots of luck to you, let's hope the house sale goes smoothly... you deserve it to.

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  19. Take a long run up to that leap and I'm sure you will fly...looks like you are overdue some good luck! Best wishes xx

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  20. You are doing amazingly well, im so proud of you and your lovely daughters. Im glad you are taking chances and different paths.
    When you mentioned writing a book I would love to see you do one about all the lovely places you visit in norfolk and Suffolk interspersed with your lovely picture's and crafty bits. I used to love the original yarnstorm blog and its ideas for places to go but I think you could do better...just a thought...
    best wishes xx

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  21. Always love reading your blog posts!
    Thank you for being so honest - your strength and positivity are infectious xxx

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  22. Creative people like you are such an asset to the world. I'm sure you will find new possibilities for earning, enjoying and inspiring before long.
    Do you have a new home in mind? Perhaps your stash will come in very handy when you move to a new house.
    Take that long plane trip if you can - I regret not making a trip I've always wanted to go on until it was too late. ( I would not be accepted onto a long haul flight now for health reasons.)

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  23. Thinking of you always. Take care.
    Anne xx

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  24. Lovely Lisa, you truly are an inspiration. I've always loved the way you write, I'd love to see your words in print...follow your dreams and go on that trip! x x x much love Jane x x x x

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  25. Lisa I'm so glad you are finding the positives amidst all the crap (sorry, no other word will do) that is happening right now. Can't believe you got the push in the middle of an academic year - politics is indeed a dirty business. Good for you that you are rediscovering your old friends, and some new ones as well. Hang in there! Lxxx

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  26. Just getting to know you from Instagram so my first visit here. It's evident that you have warm and cozy heart, and a sweet sense of style that I'm drawn to. Many good wishes as you gather your lovely friends both near and far while traveling this new road in your life!

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  27. Sending you my love, change can work out for the good usually when you least expect it. Lucy x

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  28. Good for you, being so positive with all that is going on. I am so glad that you have such good support, near and far. I really hope that something will turn up jobwise and that you will look back and be glad that this happened! I love your vintage fabrics, many lovely projects to come from those in the future all being well. Take care of yourself. Sharon x

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  29. Good to hear yo are joining the WI I joined last year.I am a very reserved person and I'd like to stay that way really,so I sit on the edge quite happily,I love all your fabrics,good luck in all that you do.Kind Regards Pam.

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  30. Good luck to you & the girls Lisa - grasp those opportunities and I'm sure it won't be long before you'll find enjoyment in the new paths you take.
    Kitty

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  31. oh do go for it when you feel the moment is right. I think your being led to some good things and great connections. It sounds exciting, just whoosh on through all the changes as they appear and know that your going to land in a good place :-) X

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  32. Keep your chin up sweet lady, you have lots of people on your team xxx

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  33. Hello from me to you, love your Retrostyle!!
    I just started a new blog, hope you will take a look or follow?
    Greetings Anita

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  34. All power to you Lisa. It sounds like your future can only get better. Enjoy the adventure.xx
    Blessings, Trills.xx

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  35. Sometimes things happen for a very good reason.. I am sure that you will find a better life when you emerge on the other side of it all. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

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  36. You will come through and be strong and great and although it will be different, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I am glad that you have a great support team of friends and family around you, that is a really good thing isn't it. I hope that your new dream of a trip to Oz can come true!!! xx p.s. I wondered where your more recent post went and hope that all is OK? xx

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Bobo X